Happy New Year to all of you! I hope this year brings you joy, growth, and moments of deep reflection. My new year began in a very meaningful way. I attended my Buddhism meeting on January 2nd. This day coincides with Daisaku Ikeda’s birthday. It’s a day when we renew our determination for practice. We reflect on the past year and set our intentions for the year ahead.
Being in that space, surrounded by others committed to growth and transformation, made me think about change. It challenges us, reshapes us, and opens doors we didn’t even know existed.
Daisaku Ikeda said, “Human beings aren’t defeated by adversity. They are defeated by themselves – by giving up and abandoning their own convictions.”
This quote has guided me through my personal transformation. Over the years, chanting, study, and active engagement in my community have shown me that true change begins within. I have noticed shifts in how I respond to challenges, relate to people, and lead initiatives. Some changes were subtle, almost invisible at first, while others were more dramatic. What I have learned is that change is both deeply personal and profoundly gradual.
The Challenge of New Year Resolutions
We are all familiar with the tradition of New Year resolutions. We make them each year, but most of us fail or give up. We promise ourselves we will exercise more, eat better, be calmer, delegate more, or think more strategically. And yet, despite the best intentions, these resolutions often fade within weeks. This isn’t about lacking willpower. It’s about the unseen forces within us that resist change. These forces can make us give up and abandon our own convictions, just as Daisaku Ikeda reminds us. A few years ago, I read Immunity to Change by Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey. This book remains one of my favorites. It helped me understand these hidden forces even more deeply and why real change often feels so difficult.
Introducing Immunity to Change
Immunity to Change, a concept developed by Robert Kegan and Lisa Lahey, is so relevant. It offers a profound lens to understand why real change often feels so difficult. The book introduces the concept of the Immunity Map. This map helps uncover the hidden commitments. It also reveals the deep-seated assumptions that drive our behaviors. It shows that beneath every counterproductive action lies a competing commitment. This commitment is a belief or fear we may not even be aware of. Behind that, there are big assumptions about ourselves, others, or the world that make these commitments feel necessary. By making these invisible forces visible, we begin to understand why change is so challenging. We also discover how we unconsciously sabotage our own efforts. This insight turns change into a deliberate process. It allows us to experiment with new ways of thinking and acting. These experiments gradually weaken the “immune system” that guards old patterns. They open the door to meaningful and lasting transformation.
This aligns very closely with my leadership approach. I use the SPICE™ framework which consists of Self-awareness, Presence, Influence, Clarity, and Evolution. According to me, change is not just a single action, but an integration of insight, behaviour, and mindset. Often, what feels like resistance is actually a protective mechanism. It acts as an internal immune system safeguarding old habits or beliefs. These habits or beliefs once served us.
Personal Coaching Insights
In my coaching and personal reflection, I’ve seen this firsthand. A young leader once received feedback that she was very autocratic. As we explored this together, we uncovered a deeper fear. She had a concern. As a woman in a leadership role, she worried. She feared being taken advantage of if she didn’t assert control. Her autocratic style was, in essence, a protective mechanism. Once she recognized this inner assumption and fear, she was able to consciously shift her approach. Over time, she became more inclusive and collaborative, and the feedback she received changed accordingly.
The Immunity Map and SPICE™ Framework
The Immunity Map makes these hidden dynamics visible. It identifies improvement goals, behaviours that undermine them, hidden competing commitments, and the deep assumptions behind them. Once surfaced, leaders can test assumptions, adjust behaviours, and allow authentic change to emerge. In SPICE™ language, this journey begins with Self-awareness. We notice what drives us. It flows into Presence. We stay with discomfort. It moves into Influence. We reshape impact without force. It deepens with Clarity. We see what truly matters. Finally, it unfolds as Evolution. This is a continuous process of becoming.
Real Change as a Heat Experience
Real change is a heat experience, as Kegan and Lahey describe in their book. Just as raw ingredients transform through cooking, intentions and habits transform when we allow time, reflection, and careful effort. Trying to force change too quickly often leads to burn-out or retreat. True transformation happens slowly, as insight, awareness, and action integrate.
The Transformational Recipe: Rasgulla – From Raw to Remarkable
Think of making rasgulla, the classic Indian dessert. In its raw form, chenna (curdled milk solids) is soft, crumbly, and bland. It feels incomplete, unformed, and almost unpalatable. As you gently shape the chenna into balls and boil them in sugar syrup, something magical happens. The heat causes the balls to expand, absorb sweetness, and become spongy. With patience and careful attention, the raw elements slowly transform. They become soft, juicy rasgullas, rich with flavor. They are unrecognizable from their starting form.
Change in leadership works the same way. Raw intentions, our resolutions, habits, or growth goals – may feel awkward, uncomfortable, or incomplete at first. We need the slow heat of self-reflection. Adding mindful practice and consistent effort helps these raw intentions. They then absorb the sweetness of insight. This growth expands into meaningful, sustainable change.
The SPICE™ process guides the transformation. Self-awareness lets us recognize what truly matters. Presence keeps us engaged and grounded in each moment. Influence shapes how our growth affects others. Clarity helps us refine our actions. Evolution marks the emergence of meaningful, sustainable change.
Leadership intentions need patience and gentle care. Like a rasgulla that swells and absorbs syrup over time, they reach their full flavor and form gradually.
Stepwise Rasgulla Recipe – From Raw to Remarkable
Ingredients:
- 1 liter full-fat milk
- 2 tablespoons lemon juice or vinegar
- 1 cup sugar
- 4 cups water
- 1 teaspoon rose water (optional)
Step 1: Making the Chenna (Curdled Milk)
Bring the milk to a gentle boil. Reduce heat and add lemon juice slowly, stirring gently until the milk separates into curds (chenna) and whey. Turn off the heat. Just as the milk separates, your raw intentions begin to take form. This is the stage of self-awareness – noticing your goals, desires, and fears, even if they feel separate or unfinished.
Step 2: Draining and Kneading
Strain the curds through a muslin cloth. Rinse with cold water to remove any lemon taste. Squeeze out excess water and knead the chenna until smooth and soft. This may take 8–10 minutes.
Kneading the chenna mirrors the work of presence – being fully attentive to your thoughts, habits, and patterns. Each fold and press refines your intentions, smoothing out resistance and shaping them with mindful effort.
Step 3: Shaping the Balls
Divide the kneaded chenna into small portions and roll them into smooth balls without cracks.
This is clarity – the stage where ideas and intentions take visible form. Each ball represents a goal or habit you are consciously committing to – distinct, tangible, and ready to be nurtured.
Step 4: Preparing the Sugar Syrup
In a deep pan, combine water and sugar. Bring to a boil and let the syrup simmer for 5 minutes. Add rose water if using. Just as the chenna absorbs the syrup, our intentions are shaped by the influences around us. Mentors, peers, experiences, and guidance add depth, resilience, and sweetness to what we are becoming.
Step 5: Cooking the Rasgullas
Gently drop the chenna balls into the boiling sugar syrup. Cover and simmer for 15–20 minutes. The balls will expand as they absorb the syrup and transform completely. Heat and consistent effort bring transformation. This is evolution. Challenges, reflection, and sustained practice expand your abilities, just like the chenna balls absorb sweetness.
Serve this chilled and enjoy!!
This year, I invite you to pick one meaningful change. Instead of a long list of resolutions, explore the immunity that surrounds this change. Honour what your old habits have protected, experiment gently, and observe the transformation. Chenna becomes delicious rasgulla through patient cooking. Similarly, your intentions can become real and lasting change. This requires awareness, patience, and persistence.
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